If I Stay (2009)

If I Stay is a young adult novel by Gayle Forman published in 2009. The story follows 17-year-old Mia Hall as she deals with the aftermath of a catastrophic car accident involving her family. Mia is the only member of her family to survive, and she finds herself in a coma. Through this coma, however, Mia has an out-of-body experience. Through this, she is able to watch the actions around her, as close friends and family gather at the hospital where she is being treated. The book follows Mia's stories and the unfolding of her life through a series of flashbacks. Mia finds herself stuck between two worlds: the world of the living, and the world of those who have moved on. Mia realizes that she must use her past and her relationships to make a decision for her future. Her options are to stay with her grandparents and Adam, her boyfriend, and cope with the grief of losing her parents and her brother. Or, join her deceased family members in the afterlife and avoid the pain of living without her mother, father, and little brother. The novel received positive reviews from the young adult audience, and Summit Entertainment optioned it in December 2010, for a 2014 film adaptation.

A novel continuing Mia's story, Where She Went, was published in April 2011.

Plot

17-year-old Mia Hall is an aspiring concert cellist living in Portland, Oregon with her parents and younger brother Teddy. When school is closed one day on account of the snowy weather, the family decides to go for a morning drive, but ice on the roads causes their car to swerve into another lane, where a car crashes into theirs. Mia awakens to find the bodies of her parents, who have died upon impact. Mia comes across her own severely injured body and realizes she is having an out of body experience. She follows her physical body to the hospital, where she watches her extended family rushing to take care of her while her best friend Kim and her boyfriend Adam struggle to reach the hospital. She also watches as doctors struggle to revive Teddy, who eventually succumbs to his injuries. Through her experience, Mia reflects on her life, reminiscing about the development of her relationship with Adam, the development of her passion and talent for playing the cello, and the obstacles of being a teenager who feels out of place no matter where she goes. Mia struggles to decide whether she will awaken from the coma to be with her remaining family and Adam, or whether to join her parents and Teddy in death. She very nearly makes the decision to pass on until Adam finally reaches her hospital room and tearfully begs her to stay. Mia then experiences a vision of how the remainder of her life will play out. The novel ends just as she wakes up.

Characters

Mia Hall: Mia is a 17-year-old girl living in Oregon. Though she cares deeply and has a great deal of love for her family, and her boyfriend Adam, the one place in which Mia feels most secure is when she is playing her cello. Her idol is Ludwig van Beethoven. Mia struggles with a sense of fitting in, especially among her parents and her younger brother Teddy. While her entire family shares a great passion for music, Mia stands out as the only classical music inclined member. Both of her parents were great promoters of the rock movement. Even her younger brother Teddy, while young, is already showing an interest in rock. Mia struggles between the two versions of herself, the version that fits in with her music and the version that longs to fit in and get along easily with her family and her boyfriend. Mia struggles to understand why her boyfriend, Adam, cares for her the way he does. She can't understand how he can see past their differences. This poses problems for the two, though their relationship is inherently very strong otherwise.

Adam Wilde: Mia Hall's boyfriend. He is very handsome and loves music. He plays guitar in the band Shooting Star, which is rapidly gaining popularity throughout Oregon. Adam's band is on tour when Mia has her accident, and this tour sets the tone for potential issues with their relationship. Though their love for each other is very strong, they both seem to be heading in separate directions. It is their love for music that is causing the separation. Mia is considering going to Juilliard and Adam must stay in the Oregon area to continue playing guitar for his band. Adam loves Mia and would do anything to make her happy. During Mia's time in the hospital after her accident, Adam does whatever he can to connect with her and wake her from her coma.

Kim Schein: Mia's best friend. Although they originally despised one another when they first met, they soon become best friends. They are said to be very alike and are perceived as "dark and studious"—assumptions that often work to their advantage. Kim is sarcastic, and obedient to her emotional mother, up until her breaking point in which she tells her mother to get her stuff together. Kim's strength is depicted through this scene in which she pushes her own feelings aside to be a support system to her best friend. Kim has a private connection to her Jewish heritage, which she doesn't display but relies on when Mia is injured. Despite Mia's attempts to get them to be friends, Kim and Adam are not fond of each other. Kim said that their connection is only through Mia, and this connection is clearly strengthened through their ventures to get Adam to Mia when she is in the hospital.