Razor Girl (2016)

Razor Girl is a 2016 novel by Carl Hiaasen, the sequel to his 2013 title Bad Monkey.

Plot summary

Merry Mansfield is a free-spirited con artist who assists mobsters in abducting defaulting fugitives by rear-ending their cars on the highway. Unfortunately, after completing one such abduction on the Overseas Highway, Merry discovers that she and her accomplice "Zeto" have snatched the wrong person: Lane Coolman, a Los Angeles talent manager on his way to Key West to supervise a live appearance by his firm's most important client, reality television star Buck Nance. Without Coolman present, Buck, who is unprepared to give an improvised performance, resorts to telling jokes overheard from his brothers which contain racist and homophobic slurs. In fear for his safety, Buck flees and hacks off his trademark beard in the kitchen of a closed restaurant. The beard fragments are reported to health inspector Andrew Yancy, a former police detective.

While waiting for their real target, Merry and Zeto let Coolman call his boss, Jon "Amp" Ampergrodt, who is indifferent to his safety but discreetly asks Monroe County Sheriff Sonny Summers to start a search for Buck. Because of the urgent need to find Buck quickly, Sonny's only detective, Burton, reluctantly asks Yancy for assistance. Meanwhile, Zeto announces his intent to kill Coolman, but Merry takes pity on their victim and allows Coolman to escape. She and Zeto abduct their real target, Martin Trebeaux, a beach nourishment hustler who delivered faulty sand to the beach behind a Mafia-controlled hotel in Boynton Beach.

After completing the job, Merry spends the evening in Key West, where she sees Coolman and whimsically decides to spend the evening with him. Coolman is soon called to the scene of a tourist's accidental death and is horrified to learn that the alleged assailant in the incident fits Buck's description. Merry meets Yancy and leaves to have dinner with him, much to Coolman's chagrin. Only a few days later, Merry invites herself to stay at Yancy's home on Big Pine Key, despite his feeble protests that he is already in a relationship. Buck, meanwhile, has been kidnapped by his "biggest fan," an unemployed burglar named Benny "Blister" Krill. Blister's impromptu "tributes" to impress Buck include getting garish tattoos, causing the tourist's death and re-kidnapping Coolman.

In a burst of inspiration, Blister demands that he be written onto Buck's show, Bayou Brethren, as his long-lost twin brother. Buck and Coolman try to humor him until they can escape but start to seriously consider the ploy after watching the next episode on Blister's TV, which has been filmed without Buck. They present their demands to Amp, who cannot afford to ignore Coolman's threat to make Buck and his "brother" the stars of a rival spin-off that will eclipse Bayou Brethren in popularity.

A tattoo artist leads Yancy and Merry to Blister's apartment, but Blister impulsively stabs Yancy in the abdomen with a knife, forcing Merry to rush him to the hospital. Over the next several days, Yancy tries doggedly to apprehend Blister, a job made more difficult by the fact that Buck and Coolman are shielding him, using him as a decoy to gain a more lucrative contract for Buck. After Blister refuses to accept a "deal" from anyone other than Amp in person, the agency head reluctantly flies to Florida.

Rosa's continued absence eventually makes Yancy give in to Merry's attempts to seduce him, after which she disappears, leaving a note at his house encouraging him to go after Rosa in Oslo. Yancy begins a trip to Oslo but returns to Florida after he realizes during a layover that he has not resolved his own feelings about the case. Merry goes back to Miami and continues her work for the mob but realizes that Yancy is likely to continue pursuing Blister and may need her help.

After tracking Buck, Coolman and Blister to their hideout, being captured and escaping, Yancy works out a deal with Coolman to take custody of Blister as soon as Amp signs a new contract doubling Buck's salary. When things go awry during the meeting with Amp, Blister abducts Yancy at gunpoint and forces him to drive the group to the airport. They are intercepted by Merry, who disables their car and distracts Blister with her signature move. Blister realizes the danger and recovers his stolen gun, but Buck, who has had enough of Blister's violent behavior, sneaks up behind him and breaks his neck.

Buck becomes a national hero for his actions in Florida, but he has had enough of celebrity—estranged from his family, harried by his captivity and badly shaken by the realization that his TV persona has become a role model for violent racists like Blister, he quits Bayou Brethren and moves back to Milwaukee to open a music store. Yancy is saddened, though not surprised, when Rosa breaks up with him, admitting that she prefers Norway's tranquility to Florida's turbulence. Yancy's emotional blow is greatly softened when he returns home and finds Merry waiting for him, having decided that Yancy is too much fun for her to give up (at least for the immediate future).

Characters

Recurring characters

Andrew Yancy: a former Monroe County sheriff's detective, since demoted to an inspector for the Monroe County Department of Hotels and Restaurants ("Roach Patrol", as Yancy describes it)

Dr. Rosa Campesino: Yancy's girlfriend, a Miami-based coroner-turned-emergency room doctor

Rogelio Burton: Yancy's former partner, another detective at the Monroe County Sheriff's Office

Sonny Summers: the Monroe County sheriff

Tommy Lombardo: Yancy's supervisor at the Monroe County Department of Hotels and Restaurants

New characters

Merry Mansfield: the eponymous character of the novel, a female con artist whose specialty is "bump jobs"; her true background is never revealed

Juan Zeto-Fernandez, a.k.a. "Zeto": Merry's accomplice in her "bump job" abduction scams

Lane Coolman: a Los Angeles-based talent manager at Platinum Artists