Sick Puppy (2000)

Sick Puppy is a 2000 novel by Carl Hiaasen.

Plot summary

Robert Clapley, a former drug smuggler-turned-real estate developer, plans to build high-rise condominia on Toad Island, home to a large population of oak toads. The project requires the construction of a massive new bridge to the mainland to accommodate Clapley's cement trucks. On the recommendation of the corrupt Florida Governor Richard "Dick" Artemus, to whom he has given large campaign contributions, Clapley hires lobbyist Palmer Stoat to expedite government funding for the bridge construction. By random happenstance, Stoat becomes subject to the obsessive wrath of ecoterrorist Twilly Spree after he witnesses him litter the highway from his luxury Range Rover. Twilly tracks Stoat back to the Fort Lauderdale residence he shares with his wife, Desirata.

Twilly arranges ironic pranks–hijacking a garbage truck and dumping its load into Desi's convertible, and filling Stoat's Range Rover with dung beetles–but is aggravated when Stoat continues to litter. When he breaks into Stoat's home, he is confronted by his massive Labrador Retriever and by Desi herself. Desi, who is increasingly unhappy with her marriage, tells Twilly that he is "aiming low" if he is trying to correct Stoat's misbehavior. She guides him to Toad Island, where Clapley's construction crew has deliberately buried thousands of oak toads to avoid later protest by environmentalists. Twilly orders Desi to tell Stoat that he will kill the dog if he doesn't stop the bridge project. Stoat dismisses the threat until Twilly sends him a roadkill Labrador's severed ear via FedEx. The actual dog becomes Twilly's companion after he changes his name to "McGuinn."

Stoat convinces Artemus to veto funding for the bridge but has no intention of letting the project fail. He tells Clapley and Artemus that the funding can be put back into the budget later, through a special session of the Florida legislature. Clapley sends a hit man, Mr. Gash, to kill Twilly, while Artemus, in an effort to avoid the project being tainted by a violent death, locates ex-governor Clinton Tyree, a.k.a. "Skink," who vanished in the mid-1970s after a short term of office and is said to be hiding in the remaining Florida wilderness. Artemus knows that Skink's mentally disturbed elder brother, Doyle, is still on the state's payroll as the keeper of an abandoned lighthouse and threatens to put him on the street if Skink doesn't apprehend Twilly. Artemus fails to realize the dire consequences of threatening Skink, or of putting him and Twilly in contact with each other.

Desi becomes attracted to Twilly, and the two eventually develop a relationship. Stoat is disgusted and washes his hands of her and McGuinn, telling Twilly that the bridge is going up no matter what he does. A violent confrontation with Twilly, Desi and Skink on Toad Island leaves Mr. Gash mortally wounded. Twilly is left in Skink's care while Desi returns to her parents' home in Atlanta. Despite her pleadings, Twilly is still committed to stopping the Toad Island project. Accompanied by Skink, Twilly trails Stoat, Clapley and Artemus to a private canned hunting reserve in northern Florida, where Stoat has arranged for Clapley to shoot a black rhinoceros and win over Willie Vasquez-Washington, a crucial member of the Florida House who is opposed to the special session.

Twilly is on the verge of shooting Clapley, but McGuinn runs into the preserve and nips playfully at the rhino's tail. The rhino–so ancient that it has hardly moved since it arrived at the ranch–goes berserk and charges at the hunting party. Clapley is gored to death on the rhino's horn, and Stoat is trampled flat. Artemus escapes the chaos but is mortified to learn that Willie snapped photos of the fiasco. Clapley's death dooms the Toad Island project. Apart from his many lobbying clients and crony politicians, only a few friends and family members show up at Stoat's funeral. Desi is among the mourners, during which she is approached by McGuinn, holding a note with Twilly's new address on it. Meanwhile, Twilly and Skink are driving along the highway when they see another group of litterbugs. They immediately agree they have to teach them a lesson.

Characters in "Sick Puppy"

Twilly Spree: college dropout, millionaire, protagonist

Palmer Stoat: lobbyist and political fixer

Desirata Stoat: Palmer's trophy wife

Robert Clapley: retired drug smuggler, now real-estate developer

Richard "Dick" Artemus: Governor of Florida

Lisa June Peterson: Governor Artemus's executive assistant

Willie Vasquez-Washington: Vice Chairman of the Florida House Appropriations Committee

Katya and Tish: Clapley's girlfriends, his planned future Barbie Twins

Estella: a call girl who only services registered Republicans

Mr. Gash: Clapley's hired killer

Clinton Tyree: former governor of Florida

Lt. Jim Tile: Tyree's best friend and former bodyguard, an officer of the Florida Highway Patrol

Nils Fishback: the "Mayor" of Toad Island

Roger Roothaus: owner of the construction company developing Toad Island

Karl Krimmler: construction project supervisor on Toad Island

Dr. Steven Brinkman: staff biologist employed by Roger Roothaus

Boodle/McGuinn: Palmer's Labrador Retriever;

Major themes

Although some of the themes of the novel may suggest an autobiographical element the author himself shrugs off at least one aspect of this parallel. The main character Twilly and himself both had attorney forebears who lived in Southern Florida, but the development in this area came as a surprise to him and his attorney father and grandfather.