The Big Over Easy (2005)

The Big Over Easy is a 2005 detective novel written by Jasper Fforde. It and its sequel The Fourth Bear are set in an alternate reality of Reading where it has the only police department that deals with PDRs (Person of Dubious Reality), characters mainly from nursery rhymes and fairy tales.

According to the events of The Well of Lost Plots, the Nursery Crime series is the result of Caversham Heights becoming a "textual summer camp" for mainly nursery rhyme characters (or Orals) since they cannot benefit from the Character Exchange Program. The book also includes a cameo of Thursday and Bowden related to when they fixed a temporal distortion in The Eyre Affair.

Who Killed Humpty Dumpty? (the book's first iteration) was the first novel Fforde wrote in 1994, however it was repeatedly rejected while the first four Thursday Next books were being published. It was made into the WOLP subplot Caversham Heights as "a highly unsubtle way of [Fforde] trying to get [his] first book, Nursery Crime, into print", though what made it get rewritten and published in 2005 was Fforde "looking for another book to publish" and him thinking that "the Humpty novel... would be able to find a readership".

Plot

The book begins on a rainy day the week after Easter. Mary Mary, a Detective Sergeant from Basingstoke, has been transferred to the Reading Central Police Station. She hopes to be paired up with DCI Friedland Chymes, the 2nd-best Inspector in the Guild of Detectives and her childhood idol, but instead is paired up with DI Jack Spratt from the Nursery Crime Division, an inspector who isn't even rated by Amazing Crime Stories. Jack himself is living with his second wife, Madeleine, who moonlights as a photographer for certain prestigious events, and their five children: Pandora, Ben, Jerome, Megan, and Stevie. Madeleine is trying to rent the spare room in the house, but without much success.

The next day, Humpty Dumpty is discovered dead outside of his residence at Grimm's Road, apparently having fallen off the wall. Once Jack arrives to the crime scene, his Superintendent, Briggs, introduces him to Mary Mary. Jack interviews some possible witnesses, including Wee Willie Winkie, the insomniac neighbor; Ms. Hubbard, the owner of the boarding house where Humpty stayed; and Prometheus, the titan from Greek mythology, the latter of which Jack offers to rent the spare room in his house to. They all describe Humpty as a nice egg, who generally kept to himself. Upon inspection of Humpty's room, Jack and Mary find some odd clues: several shares in Spongg Footcare, Reading's Footcare empire, a picture of Humpty with a girlfriend in Vienna, and a 28-foot-long strand of hair. They later interview Laura, Humpty Dumpty's ex-wife. When Jack returns home, he tells his mother that the painting of the cow his mother wanted to sell was fake and he only received some beans in return. Mrs. Spratt retorts that she had the painting valued years ago and that the auctioneer probably knows how incredibly valuable it is. She is so upset that she throws the beans out of the window, and Jack sees them bury into the ground by themselves.

There is another interview at a hospital called Saint Cerebellum's, this time with mad scientist doctor Quatt, and on their way to meeting her Jack notices the serial killer the 'Gingerbread Man'. Jack had been chasing the killer in previous cases and had to witness his colleague having his arms ripped off, only for the local newspaper, the Gadfly, to say that Chymes had caught the 'Gingerbread Man'. The interview with Dr. Quatt only reveals that she was Humpty's doctor. The conversation ends with Quatt showing Jack and Mary her latest experiment, a kitten's head sewn onto the body of a haddock.

A few days later, Jack and Mary team up with Superintendent Baker, Ashley (an alien who can only speak binary code) and forensic scientist Gretel Kandlestyck-Maeker. Humpty Dumpty's wife is found to have committed suicide at the biscuit factory, but it is suspected that she has been murdered. The woman had jumped into a chocolate vat and was sliced by the machines, but when the employees stopped the machine, it was too late. The police of the Nursery Crime Division find a suicide note, but Mary concludes that it was written by his wife by comparing it to her diary. The proof of suicide also comes from a witnessing employee who saw her jump in, and no one pushed her.

A few days later, the team are called in to investigate the recent death of Wee Willie Winkie. He was attacked with a large weapon, supposedly a broadsword, and a fifty-pound note was found in his hand, showing he was blackmailing the killer. Jack has his own problems at home when his mother calls him to sell a painting of a cow.

Jack next interviews Randolph Spongg. Humpty had been investing in their failing businesses in hope of a breakthrough, which never came. The interview take place in Spongg's strange house, where doors lead nowhere, some rooms revolve around and go-kart races inside the house itself are held commonly every year. They next interview Lola Vavoom, who lives in the room next to Humpty Dumpty in the block of flats. At the end of the conversation she tells them that Humpty's shower had been running for a whole year, before his death. The two men break the door, and Baker finds a skeleton in the shower.

The man is identified as Tom Thomm, son of a local flautist. His skin has been washed away by the shower water, and his skeleton is badly damaged. There are also five bullet holes in the shower curtain, three at waist height and two at foot height. Gretel says that when Tom was shot in the waist, he fell on the floor, where the two other shots hit his head. Jack then realises that Tom's killer was Humpty's wife: the three waist-height shots would have been head height for Humpty. His wife killed herself as she was sorry for what she had done.